Friday, July 14, 2006 Medication...*


To quote Isaac Brock, "We're all doctors trading sadness for numbness".

Today I went to see my physician, who is a bit reminiscent of Dr. Nick from the Simpsons. I am forced to continue seeing this doctor of questionable credentials because of my need for medication and his willingness to prescribe whatever I ask for. I'm not a drug addict popping Percocet like Sweet Tarts. I simply have a small serotonin deficiency that only medication can correct. My doctor also owns a medical spa that is next to his primary care practice. Here is a short transcript of my appointment.
Dr. Nick: Anomie, my favorite patient!
Anomie: Hi Dr. Nick! How is your daughter?
Dr. Nick: Ah, she is well....(blah, blah, blah). So what brings you here today?
Anomie: Your office called me and told me to come in as a follow up to the nasty bout of Legionnaires Disease I had last month.
Dr. Nick: (Flipping through chart) Ah, yes....So you are well?
Anomie: I feel great.
Dr. Nick: Do you need any other prescriptions? You want six month supply of Prozac? Your skin looks great, more Retin-A?
Anomie: Sure, that would be great. I'm a bit worried about this freckle on my arm that has appeared. It is large and asymmetrical, do you think I should see a dermatologist?
Dr. Nick: No, it looks fine! Did you want to schedule another laser hair removal appointment next door while you're here. I can do it now. (Note: There is an entire family of eight in the waiting room.)
Anomie: Uhhh...I think you may be a little busy, there are a lot of people in the waiting room.
Dr. Nick: (Pshaw sound) Medicare. I make time for you.
Anomie: You know I feel pretty hairless, maybe next time.
Dr. Nick: Come back and see me soon yeah?
Anomie: Of course. Take care.

I need to find another doctor.

*Song by Modest Mouse


Blogger James said...

Ahhh, the blazing competence and efficiency
of our medical system. Well maybe he was trying to include everyone in you medical prognosis......

9:11 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

It's a good thing the poor don't suffer from depression,

Funny, James

12:50 PM  
Blogger 2complx said...

He sounds cool, but Dr. Nick scares the crap out of me.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Murphy said...

Thanks for the advice, I actually now hope she doesn't call. I have stopped smoking, got a personal trainer and am ashamed at how I was such a wuss around her.

She was my drug for a while, but now I'm clean...

9:10 PM  
Blogger MC said...

I take it you don't like electro-transdental therapy then.

2:00 AM  
Blogger RC said...

how funnny, (but not funny)

Dr. Nick is an under-rated simpsons character for sure.

--RC of

5:49 PM  

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