Saturday, October 14, 2006 Old women and their feet

Old women and their feet

Why do all old women have foot problems that they talk about volubly? Below is a conversation I overheard today at the nail salon. I don't think I'll be able to eat today.
Warning: Not for the sensitive of stomach.

Nice Thai Lady: Oh welcome! You come for spa pedicure?
Old woman: Oh yes! I need my toenails trimmed down a bit. My big toenail is pretty thick, so I'll need someone strong for this pedicure.
(Anomie gags.)
Nice Thai Lady: (Says something in Thai to other salon workers, which I choose to believe is:) This old cow comes in weekly to get her gnarled hooves clipped and painted and only tips 10%. I hope she dies soon.
(Nice Thai Lady smiles sweetly as other Thai ladies mumble.)

Old Woman: That callous on my left foot has been causing some discomfort lately. Could you shave it down?
Nice Thai Lady: Maybe we can use special pumice? (Blanches visibly.)
Anomie thinks: You crusty old bat, if you sold one of the fist sized blood diamonds in your earrings you could afford to get a foot transplant and spare everyone here your gruesome pied centered tales.
Nice Thai Lady: I turn on vibrating chair for you, very special customer.
Anomie adjusts her position hoping that in pidgin Thai-English vibrating chair means electric chair and the withered creator of noise pollution will soon be reduced to a blackened, smoking husk.
Chair goes on and old woman relaxes.
Old Lady: (Louder) This vibrating chair always makes me feel so good.
All clients silently think: Ewwwww!

6 Comments:

Blogger snackiepoo said...

Hahaha, I totally hate going to the nail salon for this very reason. Most people find the whole process to be so relaxing but I am sitting there just waiting for the pedicure and fill to be over so I can stop listening to people talk about their feet or other rank stuff that they apparently think no one else can hear :).

10:25 PM  
Blogger Dale said...

...hoping that in pidgin Thai-English vibrating chair means electric chair...

That's some comedy gold there Anomie. Pretty disgusting stuff from you pretty ladies, who knew?

7:47 PM  
Blogger James said...

Funny, how I should be eating Thai food at this very moment......I think I'll reheat it tomorrow....ewww

9:32 PM  
Blogger Sebastien said...

Yucky! I knew I shouldn't read this...but I had to. Disgusting stuff, but quite funny! Thank god I don't have to go to the nail salon!

5:16 PM  
Blogger kludge said...

Very Funny!

I love the abandon that comes with old age. One day you just wake up and say, "I'm going to make everyone miserable and I don't care what they think of me!"

1:35 PM  
Anonymous Al said...

A chilly glimpse into an inevitable fate.

7:12 AM  

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