Wednesday, July 26, 2006 Date With Ikea...*

Date With Ikea...*




I hate IKEA.

I have spent at least three hours in IKEA this week, which is two hours and twenty-nine minutes too much.

I have eaten dinner at Ikea three nights in a row. After three consecutive evening meals consisting of Swedish delights (of descending nutritional value) I feel sluggish, as if I have Swedish Fish swimming through my veins.

I have bought and returned GRUNDTAL. I have struggled to help install the STODIS/SPANIS combo. I have surrendered to the unsightly steel of the KIRP. I have met the IKEA employee's amiability with malevolence. I have reconciled myself to hanging towels on rusty nails.

I surrender.

*Song by Pavement

12 Comments:

Blogger MC said...

If that allan wrench was bigger... say the size of a crowbar, I think you could show Ikea what you really think of them.

11:48 AM  
Blogger kapgar said...

Those names sound like a really bad scifi novel. Yes, I know that's the naming that IKEA uses. All Swedish. Still doesn't help that I cannot pronounce the names of about 75% of their products.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Johnny C. said...

Sounds like you're dealing with Comcast or a credit card company, not the beloved Ikea.

1:11 PM  
Blogger Mad Ethel said...

OOh, I got all excited when I read the word IKEA. I love that store if what I'm buying is pre-assembled. So I only buy the kitchen utensils.

Anyways, I've only ever been to the one in Maryland. I've been dreaming about the Atlanta store, but frankly, that town freaks me out. It's too BIG! I will be there next week for a bachorlette party. We're going to tear up all the gay clubs in the Peachtree vacinity. Any chance IKEA will let in a bunch of girls for a party?

2:11 PM  
Blogger kludge said...

There is nothing like overpaying for furninture you have to assemble, regardless of it's "simple lines"

Our grandparents might use the term boring craftsmanship. I hve never entered and IKEA, and this only validates my beliefs.

Come to the light, buy whole furniture.

4:11 PM  
Blogger J Crew said...

Sometimes furniture you have to put together can be a major pain. IKEA is scary. It's huge and the last time I went there, the parking was so horrific that I experienced parking lot rage!!

4:37 PM  
Blogger RC said...

i have never been to ikea before, i've seen there website and their catalogue, and i've seen the bag my wife brought home from shopping there...i was not a fan.

--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

4:12 PM  
Blogger cipriano said...

Ahhhhh, IKEA.
Home of the ubiquitous Allen-key and cheap-as-hell breakfast.
ALL of my bookshelves are from the BILLIE series.
Cherrywood. Since discontinued, I think.
Other than their bookshelves [which are actually quite good] the thoroughgoing general squarity of IKEA products sort of unnerves me.

7:14 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

You're much braver than I. I've been afraid to taste IKEA food. Is it any good? Do you have to assemble it yourself?

11:18 PM  
Blogger Dale said...

Apparently the Swedes have 200 words describing bookshelf. The only thing I enjoy about IKEA is this.

12:35 AM  
Blogger 2complx said...

I've never been to IKEA. I don't like the name.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Pisces Iscariot said...

Try furnishing your home on a budget in a country that doesn't have Ikea. You don't miss your water till your well...

8:16 PM  

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